又混了一个学期，上课，睡觉，应付功课，去纽约，cram for the exam... 不只不觉一个学期就过了。I think life is pretty boring. At the beginning of the semester, I felt excited to go to nyc during weekend to meet him, but now, I just see it as a way to escape this boring PhD life. Feel really tired and sometimes lost on the way between Ithaca and NYC.  Sometimes, I feel depressed. I don't know if i am suitable for academia, in another words, I don't think I am smart enough for it. I don't know wut should do for my research, my math is not as good as others who want to do theory, and my english is not as good as those who want to do empirical study, and i even don't know if i have the intuition... maybe I should really work hard, then I will know the whether i am smart enough for this... Going to study harder next semester. I guess I will go to nyc less often in the future...